So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
