You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
