Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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