So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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