I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
