I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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