Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
only you would photoshop your dick
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
