How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
