remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's shark week go big or go home
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