ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
