Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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