brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
