What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
