my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
