We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
