"it" just moved
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
