Already got asked if we're dating
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize