Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
