Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
