My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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