Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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