I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
