awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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