He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize