If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
