now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
