i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
