Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
