I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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