you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
