I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
