all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
