i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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