Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
