just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
