he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
