This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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