one two three fourrrrnication!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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