I wish i was in the wii world.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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