The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
