Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
