She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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