Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
