Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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