She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
