ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
