Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
