Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
