why didn't you poke me back
please come you make the beer taste better
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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