I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
