dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
