people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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