Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
