when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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