Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
