How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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