i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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