currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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