Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize