why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
our cab driver is having phone sex.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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