i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
