i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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