i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
