i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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