So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
