Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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