Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
